What “No” Actually Means

I’ve been told no more times than I can count.

It’s not usually a blunt “no” either, but some things I’ve heard that equal no are:

“You’re pricing is too high, we’ll have to pass.”

“I don’t think we need your services anymore.”

“Yeah, we found someone in house to handle this.”

Photo by Latoya Dixon Smith

Yep…I’ve been told “no” a LOT. And honestly, it used to bother me. Part of me thought I was doing a poor job of pitching and retaining clients. Another part of me said I wasn’t good at my job (helllooooo imposter’s syndrome).

Deep down, I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong…but why did the “no”s keep coming?

I worked as an editorial assistant in the Upstate of South Carolina for a couple years, and it was one of my favorite jobs I’ve ever had. My business officer, Ghisela, taught me some incredible lessons during my time there.

She took me to lunch one day after gathering sponsorships for an event we were hosting. While eating, she mentioned how well I controlled talking with potential sponsors and how easily I handled being told “no.” I confessed I didn’t feel like I took declines well.

“Sweetie, just remember that ‘no’ stands for ‘next opportunity.’”

That phrase has been cemented into my brain ever since.

Photo by Latoya Dixon Smith

Now “no” has taken on new meaning. I’m not going to sit here and lie about how it’s my favorite word because that’s not true. But it HAS taught me valuable communication skills and how to have slightly thicker skin.

Here are a couple tips on how to handle being told “no” –

· Respect the person saying it. This may seem obvious, but respecting someone’s boundaries and time strengths relationships.

· “No” doesn’t mean forever.

· Be others focused instead of you focused. Meaning, don’t treat someone differently because they told you no. Relationships are not transactions.

Now when a potential client tells you “no”, you’ll realize something else is waiting for you around the corner.